Sailormoon Dark: Episode Twenty-Eight

Sailormoon Dark: Episode Twenty-Eight
"Cyber Cafe Ninjas? Sailor DarkV's Game Endless."

Written by Laurel ( Sailorhathor@aol.com )
Inspired by the Japanese animated show Pretty Soldier Sailormoon.
The ideas for this fanfic were conceived in 1995, but this actual episode was written in October-November 2002.

The character 'Nelope (SailorColour) appears courtesy of Snow/SailorCharon, who wrote all of 'Nelope's lines and descriptions. She comes from Snow's fanfic series which is not currently available online. Snow also had a part in coming up with the setting (a cyber cafe) for this episode.

"I still love Sailor V video games!"
"Usagi, that's not exactly-"
"Look! It has Kirby in it too! He's so cute."
"Yes, but don't you notice-"
"Wow, this game has so many new characters I've never seen before, Mako-chan. There's Glen, and 'Nelope, and Endor--NANI?!"
"That's what I've been trying to tell you, Usagi! This isn't a normal cyber cafe. Whatever you do, DON'T LOSE!"
"Don't lose?! Why'd you have to say that?! Ahhhhhh!"
Pretty Soldier Sailormoon Dark Episode 28: Cyber Cafe Ninjas? Sailor DarkV's Game Endless. The moonlight carries the message of love.

        A young man's dark green eyes peered from behind a computer screen in the Spectral Eye Cafe, gazing across the table at his energetic female friend. "Prepare yourself, 'Nelope," Glen mischievously warned, and pressed the left mouse button. "You've got mail."
        Glen and 'Nelope were playing a cyber game of Ninja Attack using the e-mail services at The Ninja Dispatch . Endora sat on the table behind 'Nelope sipping a coffee smoothie. "Send him your toughest ninja. He's getting too cocky," she laughed.
        'Nelope wrinkled her nose and nodded firmly. "Yah! 'Nelope sen' fave' Ninjaperson... Super-purdy Meiyumi-Chan! Wahhahaha!" She clicked several buttons and tapped "send," including a "note" somewhat less garbled than her normal speech.
        They didn't have to wait long to find out the result of the ninja attack. "Ninja attack unsuccessful," smirked Glen from around his monitor. "Ha. Ha. Ha."
        'Nelope wailed in mock agony. "Noooo! Meiyumi! You be thatfor payin'!"
        "Humph!" Endora, crossing her legs, sipped defiantly at her straw. "We need some good luck to get him good. He's been winning too much tonight."
        Usagi and Makoto strolled into the cafe. "Oh hi Endora-chan. Hey Glen-kun. Hi 'Nelope-chan. Remember, we met the night of the concert?" Usagi said to 'Nelope.
        'Nelope nodded and waved, her odango-ed topknot bobbing. "Nice to 'gain be seein'! Usagi wanna' ninja too?"
        "A ninja? What are you guys playing?" Usagi asked.
        Makoto found herself a little surprised that Usagi could understand what the bright-red-haired girl was saying; she had trouble. But then she smiled. Usagi understood everyone.
        'Nelope bounced in her seat. "Foun' 'Merican site! Izz ninja 'ttack wiff mailin' an' izz fun!" She gestured to the screen with the animated ninja attack, ending with what was apparently her own death. She pouted. "Pooh. 'Nelope died 'gain." She stuck out her tongue to Glen's smirk.
        "Aw, I hate it when I lose at games too." Usagi looked at all the computers the cafe sported, and at their selection of foods. "I've never been in here before. We were next door at Crown's visiting Motoki and decided to check this place out."
        "I come here lots; we only have a couple computers at home for everyone," Endora explained, now swinging her legs back and forth under the table. "Gets kinda hard to beat everybody to the computer just to check your e-mail, and most of it's spam anyway. This is easier."
        "Yeah, they have plenty of computers here, looks like. So, you're 'Nelope? I'm Makoto." She bowed.
        'Nelope waved. "Nice to meetin', 'Koto-san! Have seat?" She ignored an irate snort from across the room and waved at the brown-haired girl cheerily.
        "Oh, sure." Well, she understood that much. Makoto took the seat next to 'Nelope.
        'Nelope smiled her broad smile and went back to her games. Her screen was cluttered with numerous websites and silly games, most of which were in English.
        "All we've done is lose tonight," Endora continued. "Glen's ninjas keep slicing and dicing."
        "So you're not having any luck killing Glen?" asked Usagi. A few patrons looked at her funny, having no clue about the context of what she had just said.
        "No... we need some good luck."
        'Nelope pouted and crossed her arms. "Iss bummer. 'Len-kun killded Meiyumi-chan!"
        "Hm. That reminds me of the time I posed as the red ninja to spy on Rei and Mamo-chan. I got to the heart of that matter," Usagi stated with a curt nod.
        Makoto smirked. "The heart? Is that what Rei saw when she walked in on Mamoru-san bathing?"
        "Mako-chan! I told you never to speak of that again!"
        "Hmmm..." As intrigued as she was about this latest turn of the conversation, Endora could not help but focus on the idea that was forming in her head. "Do you still have that ninja outfit?"
        'Nelope glanced at Endora, cocking a brow, but remained silent as she began to type up another note to attach to her ninja.

        "Do you two have a plan, or are you just going to go in there and bust the place up?" Sailordarkcosmos asked Darkmercury and Darkvenus.
        Darkmercury replied, "We have a plan, of course. Would I ever go into battle without a plan?"
        "Not if you could help it," Darkvenus commented, joining in the conversation.
        "Wonderful," Darkcosmos said dryly. She was not much interested in small talk, just results. "What is it?"
        Sailordarkmercury opened her hand, into which a small object appeared. It looked like a cube made from the insides of a computer. "I never told you this, but in the past, I went back to the site of one of our battles and retrieved this item. I couldn't help but chance it, I was so curious to know how it worked."
        Darkcosmos perked up out of her boredom a little when she heard that her friend had kept a potentially juicy secret. Leaning forward to examine the object, she asked, "What is it?"
        "It's what was left of Viluy's supercomputer, after it exploded."
        Darkvenus gingerly touched the cube. "Wait--Viluy? That was years ago, during the Death Busters war. When did you go back and get this?"
        At that question, Sailordarkmercury grew a bit sheepish. "The very same day that she attacked me."
        "You've been keeping this thing for that many years and you never told us?!" Darkcosmos squealed, partially out of shock and partially out of gossipy delight, that her demure friend had actually done something questionable.
        "So?!" Darkmercury suddenly yelled. "What business was it of yours?!"
        "That battle was still going on at the time. Going back there, hunting down the remains of that computer by yourself, keeping a potentially dangerous object in your possession just so you could find out how it worked..." Sailordarkvenus grinned with admiration. "...that was dangerous." She patted Darkmercury on the back. "I didn't know you had it in you."
        Shrugging dismissively, Darkmercury turned the object over and over in her hand. "There's a lot about me that people underestimate."
        "What does it do, this thing you recovered?" asked Sailordarkcosmos. "Was it worth the danger and dishonesty?"
        "To me, most definitely. To the rest of you, I cannot say." She held the cube up and looked at it closely. "Viluy used her computer to attack us with something she called the 'Mosaic Buster.' When I found these pieces of the motherboard, I hooked my pocket computer up to it and analyzed what I could of the salvageable data. The Mosaic Buster was accomplished through the use of nanites, or as Viluy called them, nano-robots. Tiny microscopic 'bots programmed to do whatever the programmer wants. There are thousands of them still left in here. And they still work."
        "What do you want to do with them?"
        "I want to use them to take over the location I found, this center of magical energy. It's a cyber cafe; I staked it out today. Surely such a place has a master computer--the perfect target for my nanites." Sailordarkmercury admired the cube of motherboard thoughtfully.
        "Sounds right up your alley. All right, the two of you go capture this base. I'll stay here and... guard the snacks." Darkcosmos hovered protectively over her stash of junk food.
        "There's a little more, though. The computer Viluy designed had a lot more power than a regular processor would provide. For years I thought this power came from the Death Busters and Pharaoh 90, but it was different somehow. Recent events have finally explained it. The computer gets its extra power from an Elemental Shield," Darkmercury explained. "I did not even know they existed back then, so I didn't recognize the power when I encountered it--all of my analyses of the Shield came up 'unknown.' But now, I know exactly what I found. The Shield is contained within this cube."
        "How'd it get in there?" asked Sailordarkcosmos.
        "Not sure; I imagine the Shield was lost when its senshi died, and it somehow chose Viluy's computer to be its new host."
        Darkvenus picked the cube up and shook it, listening for any noise. "Which Shield is it?"
        Protectively taking back the cube, Sailordarkmercury replied, "Once I knew what it was, the Shield was much easier to analyze. It is the Silicon Shield. Which actually makes a great deal of sense, since silicon is used in the manufacture of computers." She began to hook her pocket computer up to the cube through a cable port she had installed in it. "Perhaps this is why the Mosaic Buster destroyed Viluy. I would venture that the Shields are generally empowered to fight for good, and so it overpowered Viluy's will and took control of the computer."
        "You're probably right. If that thing has a Shield in it, why don't I just take it out right now and add it to my machine?" Darkcosmos asked, tapping the cube.
        "Because the Shield will serve you far better if you let me use it first." Sailordarkmercury tapped away on her computer keys. "With it, I can bring you many Soul Shields and Talismans."
        "That remains to be seen." Looking at the pocket computer, Darkcosmos asked, "What are you doing now?"
        Darkmercury smiled; Darkcosmos had basically given her permission to go ahead with her plan with that dismissive little comment. "I'm telling the nanites to build me an avatar for the Silicon Shield. The avatar needs a vessel on which to build, though. Do you have any more of those dolls?"
        Sailordarkcosmos looked around her chair. "No, Arsenic makes those. She's lying down right now. Here, use this." She handed Darkmercury a Barbie doll. "One of those Witches collects dolls or something. There are tons of them just lying all over her room."
        "Thanks, this will do just fine." Placing the Barbie on her stand, Darkmercury set the doll on the floor and then put the Mosaic Cube beside it. After some more tapping on her pocket computer keys, tiny black blobs emerged from the cube and began to build a senshi body from the feet up, using the doll as a base.
        "What you're looking at are thousands of nanites in groups; they make up the Mosaic Buster. They'll build her a body using the power of the Silicon Shield."
        "Out of what?" Darkvenus asked.
        "Synthetic biological material and silicon."
        Soon the little robots had built a full woman with blonde hair, wearing an Elemental uniform. Darkcosmos and Darkvenus suddenly found themselves gawking at what else the nanites had given Sailorsilicon. "Her... she's got... they're HUGE!"
        "Well, she is Sailorsilicon. You've heard of silicon breast implants?"
        The other two Dark senshi nearly facevaulted at that one. "Why don't you two... uh, four--THREE get going? Capture me a senshi base?"
        "Of course. Come along, Silicon."
        On the way out, Sailorsilicon asked, "Will we be taking my pink convertible?"

        Dark green eyes peered around the computer monitor at Nelope as Glen planned his next move. He had her on the ropes; now all he had to do was go in for the kill. "Now, to dispatch my toughest ninja..." he snickered, and reached for the mouse.
        'Nelope cringed behind her screen, only her odango and ponytail peeking out from above it. "Ohhh... 'Len-kun be 'Nelope killin' 'gain!"
        Chuckling, Glen prepared the note that his ninja would leave on 'Nelope's "dead body." He sensed that someone was now standing next to him, leaning over to kiss his cheek.
        "MmmmmmWA!"
        "Well hello..." Glen turned to see who it was. "Ahhh!" Seeing it was Endora, he wiped the kiss off with his sleeve. "Endora, what the hell are you wearing?"
        Endora stood next to his chair wearing a red ninja outfit with black sleeves and pants underneath. A headband held a sprig of mistletoe to her forehead, and her ponytails comically jutted out from holes made in the ninja hood. The funniest thing about the outfit was the fact that it didn't fit--Endora was several inches taller than Usagi, so the sleeves and legs of the borrowed uniform were too short.
        'Nelope smirked and shook her head, struggling not to giggle as she sipped at her excessively sugary espresso.
        "I am no longer Endora. I am now the Mistletoe Ninja. You have been given the Kiss of Death. Prepare to die." Giving him a wink, Endora joined Nelope at her computer. "I told you I'd find a way to bring us luck."
        'Nelope cocked her head at Endora and poked her nose. "Endie-'Dora be weird girl. 'Nelope feenkin' Endie-'Dora gots too much coffee an' sugarstuffs. 'Nelope feenkin' 'Nelope needin' to upcatch bein'!"
        "I only had two of those pastry thingies, and three coffee smoothies. Wow, I guess that is a lot," she giggled. "Can the Mistletoe Ninja get you something? No one shall see me nab the sacred pastry. I'll guard the precious quarry with my life."
        'Nelope paused and blinked. "Quarry? Endie-'Dora be more caffiene-sugared than 'Nelope be feenkin'. 'Nelope havva' double-'spresso an' pastry-feeng." She handed the money to Endora, head bobbing in a firm nod.
        "Thank you for your faith in me, Master. I shall return." The 'Mistletoe Ninja' slunk along the tables that held the computers, then plastered herself to the wall that led up to the ordering counter. She carefully made her way there as if she really was on a secret ninja mission.
        Glen laughed, shaking his head, and went back to sending his next ninja attack. "They are not with me."
        'Nelope just grinned at him and went back to poking at her millions upon millions of websites, wondering if she could ninja-doubleteam him with some other attack site. She ended up deciding against it when she died again, afraid of the humiliation of two deaths at once.
        A giggling Usagi and Makoto stood off to the side to watch the antics of the three friends as they got into their ninja game with such determination.
        Behind a door in the back of the cafe marked "Employees Only," a young woman read a book called Death at Disneyland while a rather unique computer worked on the desk in front of her. "Wow, a woman really was crushed to death while working in the Tomorrowland ride," she said out loud. "I always thought it was just an urban legend."
        Her propped-up feet almost flew off the desk when a computer alarm sounded all of a sudden. The large monitor flashed the word ATTENTION across the screen repeatedly while the printer inked the word over and over.
        Mannaka Gijutsu quickly typed a response on the keyboard, but also spoke out loud. "Theta, what is it?"
        A text box came up on the screen.

ATTENTION! ATTENTION! ATTENTION!
Inordinate amount of magical energy detected upon premises. Could indicate potential danger. : Theta :

        "Show me Camera 2."
        An image of the front room of the cafe came up on the computer screen. Mannaka scanned the crowd of customers. "Everyone looks fairly normal. Except... why is that girl wearing a ninja outfit?"
        The printer suddenly began spitting out page after page of data on the senshi in the building. Measurable power levels, known history, depth of Darkness reached... the paper was marked with a logo reading 'Central Control.'
        "So, we're working on getting their names?" Mannaka asked.
        As if in answer, Theta spouted forth another text box.

Senshi Identity: SAILORVENUS
Real Name: Aino Minako Once known as Sailor V. Now known as Sailordarkvenus or Sailor DarkV. Little is known about the senshi with a 'Dark' modifier--new information is being sought. It is known, however, that their nature is evil. Proceed with caution. : Theta :

        Mannaka looked over the customers again. "Aino Minako? Isn't she...? I don't see her; where is she?"
        "Standing behind you." Before Mannaka could fully turn around, Darkvenus' Ivy Chain surrounded her, binding her arms to her sides.
        "Ahhhh! Why didn't you tell me they were in the room with me, Theta?!" Mannaka yelled at the computer.

NOT ENOUGH RAM! NOT ENOUGH RAM!
My processor did not allow for the necessary speed. :-( : Theta :

        Struggling with the Chain vine, Mannaka rolled her eyes and complained, "I told him we needed to upgrade!"
        "Him who?" Darkvenus asked as she yanked the Ivy tighter. "What are you up to here?"
        "Like I'd tell. Venus, this can't be you. Whatever happened, we can talk it out--turning to evil will solve nothing." She watched Sailordarkmercury and Sailorsilicon walk up to the computer and begin hooking a strange cube up to it. "Sailormercury, what happened to you?! Are you in on this too? Leave Theta alone!"
        While she worked, Darkmercury snapped, "Shut up! Nothing's happened to me; I'm better than I've ever been." She suddenly grew sheepish. "Don't you think so?"
        "Darkmerc, ignore the goodie-goodie. She'll just try to make you second guess yourself. Hurry and take over this base."
        Sailordarkmercury stomped her feet in frustration. "You stupid, you just told her what we're doing!"
        "Theta, Security Breach!" Mannaka yelled.

BREACH OF SECURITY! BREACH OF SECURITY!
Activating Lock-Down Procedures : Theta :

        Darkmercury simply laughed at the computer's warning. "Like that will keep me out for long." She typed away at her pocket computer, which was still hooked up to the Mosaic Cube. "Silicon, shut her up. She thinks she's so smart."
        Sailorsilicon happily complied. "Fibrous Silicon!" she cried. Thick, insulated computer wiring in several colors shot from her palms and wrapped around Mannaka's torso. Darkvenus released her from the Ivy Vine as to not impede the attack from binding up Mannaka tightly, like a plastic-coated wire mummy. The woman struggled feebly, starting to scream, but more wires silenced her by wrapping around her open mouth. They formed an effective gag. Mannaka fell to the floor and flopped around uselessly like a fish out of water.
        The Dark senshi ignored her, now that she was quiet and out of the way. "Is this lock-down thing going to give you any problems? I'm itching to get in there and fight."
        "Don't worry, it will only delay me a few minutes," Sailordarkmercury assured. "Then I'll capture any senshi who are protecting this base and let you dispose of them."
        "Wonderful!" Sailordarkvenus concentrated hard until an orange light glowed around her. The aura transformed her fuku into a Dark replica of the Sailor V uniform, the colors melting into one another until they had changed. "Better than ever before, I will humiliate my enemies in battle. I am the original Sailor soldier, the unstoppable video game heroine, and now the incredible dual Dark soldier, Sailordarkvenus and Sailor DarkV! This base will be ours!"

        "Mako-chan, Motoki just got back from break! Let's go next door and bug him some more," Usagi cheerfully suggested.
        Makoto grinned. "Don't you just love that look he gets when he's annoyed, but trying not to show it? He's looking so adult these days. More handsome than ever." They headed out the door. "And Assistant Manager of the game center! Weren't you impressed when you heard that?"
        "Very much so!" Usagi squealed as they walked out of earshot of the cafe.
        The Mistletoe Ninja hovered over Glen's shoulder in an attempt to intimidate him. "Ha ha ha ha... do you feel the glossy lips of death breathing down your neck?"
        Making an annoyed face, Glen replied, "No... I smell the hot stinky breath of a dork on my neck."
        "You will regret those words, future victim of my lip gloss." Endora slunk back over to Nelope's computer. "You ready to launch another ninja strike?"
        'Nelope nodded firmly, squirming in her seat, clearly the victim of a sugary overload. "Ready!"
        "Let's make this the one, okay? Our best ninja. Our final strike." Grinning, Endora extended her pinkie to Nelope.
        'Nelope linked pinkies with Endora and murmured an oath, before tapping out another quick note to Glen and clicking a button, in hopes of sending Glen to his doom. "Go, go, Hiryuu-saaaaaan!"
        A few minutes passed before Nelope received a new piece of e-mail. As she went to open it, Glen suddenly groaned loudly.
        'Nelope smirked, already knowing the news, and hurriedly went to open the new message. "Gyahahaaaa!"
        "Noooo, nono no, damnit." His head thunked on the keyboard.
        'Nelope opened the e-mail and began squealing cheerfully, giggling insanely, bouncing slightly in her chair.
        Endora read the e-mail over Nelope's shoulder. "Ha ha, SUCCESS! Ninja attack has succeeded! Glen lies dead with our calling card clutched in his cold, bloody hand. Woohoo!" She gleefully pulled Nelope out of her chair and started to do a silly dance with her. "Happy Lucky Ninja Dance, Happy Lucky Ninja Dance!"
        Glen watched them with a sly smile on his face, shaking his head. "You two are impossible. I swear, I can't take you any-" He comically clutched his throat and acted out a hammy death scene, even falling on the floor with his eyes crossed.
        "Hey look, Glen's dead!" Endora pointed out. "His room's bigger than mine. I get a bigger room! You'll help me move in?"
        'Nelope agreed, at least, after the garbled handful of syllables and vigorous nodding, that's what it seemed she'd been doing.
        All of a sudden, some of the cafe patrons screamed and ran for the door. Endora's hold on Nelope's arms tightened unexpectedly. "Hey... what's going on?" It happened so fast that before they knew it, Endora's feet were floating off the ground and she was starting to drag Nelope along the floor with her. A force sucked at them like a vacuum cleaner, from behind the ajar 'Employees Only' door.
        "I can't break out of it!" Endora clawed for a stationary object to grab hold of.
        'Nelope struggled to not scream, clutching Endora firmly and trying to get a foothold on the largely smooth floor. "Scaaared bein'!"
        Glen, spotting the trouble, jumped up and grabbed onto Nelope's waist. "The Dark senshi are back!"
        The closer they got to the back room door, the more they could see. A black spiraling vortex ringed in pale blue light was the source of the wind that pulled them toward it. Looking further, they could see that the vortex emanated from a strange cube connected to a computer terminal. An unfamiliar senshi with blonde hair held the cube, repeating, "Cybernetic Download." Another senshi stood behind her, tapping away on the computer's keyboard.
        Endora spotted the woman tied up on the floor. This was bad; who would help them if they got caught by this group? She took her transformation wand from her pocket, while still clinging onto Nelope, and tried to hold it up. "Yule Wheel of-" Her partially upraised hand was yanked back toward the nearing vortex, ripping the transformation wand from it. The wand disappeared into the vortex. "My wand!" Reaching behind her, Endora's grasp on Nelope slipped. "Gaaaah!"
        As she tried to reaffirm her grasp, Endora's lower half plunged into the vortex. She panicked, pulling on Nelope's arm, and with wide eyes, accidentally yanked Nelope in with her. Glen refused to let go of his friends, and so disappeared into the cyber whirlwind.
        "We've got them, DarkV. Go to it," Sailordarkmercury announced.
        DarkV snickered. "Once I take care of these three, I'll conquer Theta's central processing unit. See you when I get back!" Sailor DarkV jumped into the vortex.
        "Disconnect!" Sailorsilicon called. The vortex spiraled back into the cube and was gone.
        "There. Now no one else gets in or out unless we allow it."
        Endora, Glen, and 'Nelope found themselves standing on the deck of some sort of flying craft over an ocean. The colors around them seemed brighter and cheerier than normal, as if they'd been painted on the world. Unnatural, but pretty.
        "Where are we?" Endora looked down. "My transformation wand!" Once she'd picked it up, she took a good look around. "Why is this familiar?"
        "Let's transform while we have a chance." Glen took out his henshin wand.
        'Nelope nodded and raised a small brooch with a rainbow on it into the air. "Colour Wheel of Power, Make up!" The transformation was quick as a rainbow simply washed over her, spilling off the edges of an invisible pedestal before revealing her, fully decked out in her Senshi regalia. Green, lavender, bronze, and black.
        Glen and Endora transformed too, into Soldierlammas and Sailoryule, respectively. Yule happily grinned. "I always like your henshin, Colour. It's so pretty," she giggled.
        SailorColour bowed briefly, giggling, and flashed a peace sign with one red-gloved hand. "Colour likes Yule's henshin wiff purdy glowy-blinky lights an' music!" She blinked then shook out her head. "Now, where bein'?"
        Unaware of the danger to the others, Usagi and Makoto came back into the cafe. "Huh, this place sure emptied out fast. I wonder where everyone went?"
        Makoto glanced at a nearby computer. "What's this?"
        The screen featured graphics of the Nintendo and HAL Laboratory character Kirby, along with someone who looked a lot like Sailor V. "Try the newest crossover video game everyone wants to play! It's Sailor DarkV vs. the Cyber Cafe Ninjas! Help her stomp the stuffing out of them! With special guest star, the famous KIRBY!"
        "Oh I love Kirby! He's so cute." Usagi snatched up one of the joysticks. "I definitely want to try this one."
        "Wait, Usagi. It says 'Sailor DarkV.' Could be a trap."
        Pausing to think, Usagi pointed out, "We're going to have to take on Minako again sometime. It's the only way we can get our Minako-chan back. We can't walk away from this."
        "No... but let's be careful. You start playing, and I'll stand back. If everything seems okay, I'll play too. That way, if something happens to you, I can still rescue you." Makoto stepped back. "The game must be a message from Minako--let's see what she has to say."
        Nodding, Usagi put her free hand over her brooch. A part of her wasn't sure she'd ever be able to attack Minako-chan. Sailor V, her idol. "We should transform first."
        Sailoryule nibbled at one of her fingernails through the glove. "Where have I seen all this before? ....... Wait, I know! This is the Halberd!"
        "The Halberd? Isn't that the ship from that cutesy video game you're always making everybody play?" Soldierlammas asked.
        "Yeah!"
        "But that's impossible. That would mean that..." Lammas faded off as he noticed a round pink ball with feet standing at SailorColour's ankles. "Um... is that...?"
        Colour blinked, and resisted the urge to poke at the colourful marshmallow with a sharp object. "Not me doin'..."
        "Kirby!" the pink ball squealed with a giggle.
        "He is so cute!" gushed Sailorcosmos. She worked her joystick to make Kirby wave at the group.
        "Sailor Moo--uh, Sailorcosmos..." Jupiter was still getting used to the name change. "...do those senshi in the game look familiar to you?"
        After a moment of examining the computer screen, Cosmos beamed. "Yule, Lammas, and a friend got their own video game! I wonder how much money they were paid for this?"
        Sailorjupiter sweatdropped.
        The little pink blob pointed at a nearby object. "Wheelie!"
        "Awww, isn't that cute, Kirby wants us to say hello to the Wheelie. Hey, that's a Wheelie! Cool!" Yule approached the creature to examine it closer. The Wheelie that she referred to was a single motorcycle wheel with a big eye and a seat for the driver.
        It looked at her and revved its engine. "Rrrr, rrrr."
        Kirby, his large eyes filling with worry, patted the seat and whimpered.
        "He wants us to take him for a ride. Awwww..." Sailoryule hugged the little guy.
        "Yule, I don't like this," Lammas began. "I remember this scene from the video game. Kirby jumps on the Wheelie, and then has to race off the Halberd before it-"
        Colour slapped a hand over Lammas's mouth, already-wide eyes growing even wider. "DON' SAY!!!"
        From the other side of the ship came a loud explosion that shook the floor beneath them. A countdown clock appeared over their heads and began counting down to zero, while intense disaster music played from some unknown source.
        Lammas pulled one of SailorColour's fingers off his mouth slightly so he could mumble, "-blows up."
        Colour sighed and shook her head. "Tol' you don' say..."
        "Holy reindeer flops, let's get out of here!" Sailoryule spotted a second Wheelie on the deck of the ship. "There's only two. We'll have to share." She snatched up Kirby and hopped on one of the Wheelies.
        Soldierlammas got on the other. "Colour, grab on, okay? If you wrap your legs around me and hold on to my neck, we can both fit on here."
        Colour did so, whimpering as she clutched on perhaps a little too tightly. It was a serious shock that a girl so small could be so strong.
        Wheezing a little, Soldierlammas replied, "That's... good," and revved his Wheelie into action.
        Behind them, Sailor DarkV appeared in a swirl of dark orange light. Her wand had transformed into a sword, so she could play the part of Metaknight, the swordsman from the game. Only now, the sword sported the Broken Heart on its handle. "I am the original video game senshi. I am Sailor DarkV! None of you are leaving this ship alive."
        "There's Minako-chan!" Cosmos cried.
        "I think we're supposed to play the game, if the Witches and their friend are going to get out of this," Sailorjupiter suggested. She nervously picked up the other joystick. "We'll get them off the ship okay. And, um... whatever you do, don't die."
        Sailorcosmos cringed. "Why'd you have to say that?!"
        "Well, this isn't a normal video game; it's unlikely they'll have three lives to get it right-"
        "La la la, I do not hear Mako-chan saying things that might shake my confidence and make me mess up!"
        The Wheelies took off as Sailorcosmos and Jupiter controlled them to do so with the joysticks. DarkV immediately pursued them. As they sped toward the edge of the deck with the clock counting down, the Halberd began to explode behind them.
        "Ahhh, faster faster! The ship's exploding!"
        "Dodge, dodge!" Jupiter cried.
        "I know!" Sailorcosmos worked her joystick desperately as DarkV closed in on Yule and swung the sword at her head.
        Suddenly the Wheelie Yule was on lurched to one side. Sailoryule heard the wind whoosh by her ear as DarkV's sword just missed her. "Gaaaah!"
        "Attack her!" Sailorjupiter commanded.
        "I know! Stop it, you're going to mess me up!" She pressed the attack button repeatedly.
        "Yuuuuule LOG!"
        A large, thick log fell from the sky toward DarkV's head. A second before it was to hit, Sailor DarkV shifted and struck at the log with the Broken Heart Sword. The log splintered into several pieces. "Firewood," DarkV snickered.
        Sailorjupiter thumbed her attack button.
        "Red Mallet BONK!"
        True to the words, Colour hurled a massive red mallet at DarkV with a great cry of either triumph or terror.
        BONK! Next thing she knew, Sailor DarkV stood frozen with a humongous mallet plastered to her face. The mallet slid off, revealing a big circular red mark where it had been, and DarkV keeled over, temporarily stunned.
        "Yeah!" Soldierlammas cried in triumph. "We'll escape easily now. We're almost off the ship!"
        SailorColour just whimpered and shifted her grip around his chest. "Jus' go faaaaaaaast!"
        "Where do we go when we're off?!" Sailoryule squeaked, gawking at the ocean below.
        Soldierlammas pointed at a cliff that jutted out from a nearby mountain. "Land on that!"
        Patting the vehicle, Yule said, "You hear that Wheelie?"
        Colour vaguely wondered if the motorcycle-like things could actually hear, and glanced down, almost forgetting about the danger they were in.
        Just seconds before the two vehicles were to leap from the deck of the ship, Sailor DarkV recovered, and angrily swished the Broken Heart Sword down in an arc. A wave of energy sprang from it, turning to sharp golden metal in flight, and punctured the tire of the Wheelie Sailoryule rode like a giant dart. The Wheelie lurched and bounced chaotically.
        "Sailorjupiter, she got my Wheelie!" Cosmos cried.
        The vehicle ridden by Soldierlammas and SailorColour leapt from the ship gracefully and sailed through the air, heading right for the cliff. Colour shrieked and clutched Lammas tighter. "You crash, Colour be Lammas killin'!"
        Soldierlammas quickly added, "We crash, the crash be Lammas killin'!"
        Yule held on tight to Kirby as her Wheelie flopped clumsily over the side of the deck and plunged toward the ocean.
        Lammas and Colour landed with a heavy bump on the cliff. They immediately turned around to see Yule falling. "Sailoryule!"
        DarkV laughed wickedly. "Still the video game queen."
        Sailorjupiter started to say, "Press the-"
        Cosmos shoved her joystick in Jupiter's face to show her that she was already pressing the right button. "You're not the only one who plays video games, Mako-chan."
        As she repeatedly thumbed the button, Kirby filled up with air like a balloon. He winked at Sailoryule, who still had a hold of him.
        "Oh, I get it." Yule grabbed onto his feet as he became too big to hold. The bigger Kirby got, the better balloon he made to float Yule and himself to safety.
        DarkV, growling, raised her sword to attack again, and puncture that pink blobby troublemaker. An explosion only yards behind her changed her mind. The Halberd was quickly disintegrating. She called into the sky, "Forget it! Get me out of here! We'll leave them in here to rot!"
        Darkmercury nodded to Silicon. "Give her a Warp Star."
        "Warp Star!" Sailorsilicon repeated.
        A large, sparkling, yellow star appeared near DarkV. She hopped on, holding on for dear life.
        "Cybernetic Upload," said Silicon.
        The Warp Star began to fly toward an open vortex in the sky.
        "That's our ticket out!" Lammas declared, pointing to the vortex. "How do we get up there before she does?"
        Colour crossed her arms and shook her head. "Colour no idea havin'."
        "Kirby?" Yule questioned.
        Kirby, having let out all the air, was small again. He shook his head.
        "You can't carry all three of us?"
        He shook his head again.
        "Then this is good-bye. We'll just have to find our own way out." Sailoryule gave him a mighty hug. Kirby nuzzled her back with a happy smile.
        "Wait, Kirby doesn't have to carry us to get us out of here," Lammas began. "Isn't he kinda stretchy? He appeared to be in that one episode of his tv show..."
        Kirby nodded, jumping up and down. "Kirby stretch!"
        Colour blinked and glanced down at the pink puffball. "Stretchin' matterin' why?"
        "What's your idea?" Sailoryule asked with narrowed eyes. "And when did you watch Kirby's tv show?!"
        Within a minute, Lammas had SailorColour and Sailoryule in each arm, and was walking further and further back into the cave connected to the cliff. "Hold on, okay?"
        Colour clung tightly and glared at Lammas direly. "This workin' no bein', Colour be Lammas killin' wiff embarassin' 'nanner peels an' red mallets."
        "As to what will be killing Lammas, I defer to my previous comment," Soldierlammas half-joked.
        "I'm not so sure about this..." Yule looked behind them. "Are you okay, Kirby?"
        "Kirby okay!" he cried cheerfully. He tenaciously held on to the sides of the cave's opening as Lammas stretched his pink body like a giant rubberband. His plan was to use Kirby as a slingshot to get them up to that Warp Star, and ride it out.
        "I'm about... to... lift my feet..." Soldierlammas announced with effort as he felt Kirby's stretchiness about to reach its limit.
        "Hold on tight!" Yule squealed, closing her eyes.
        With a deep grunt, Lammas let go of his tenuous hold on the ground. SPROOOOIIIING! The group shot out of the cave like a bullet, headed straight for the Warp Star.
        "Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Yule screamed. She opened her eyes just in time; she had to. "Deck the Halls!"
        A string of Yule lights appeared in one of her hands. Sailoryule used it like a lasso to nab one of the points of the Warp Star. This helped the group to land right on it, albeit a bit bumpily.
        Scowling, Sailor DarkV turned on them, kicking at their hands in an effort to make them lose their hold. "No passengers; this Star only holds one!"
        Soldierlammas cried, "Breath Theft!" in-between dodging her feet.
        Colour aimed one forefinger. "Blue Sky Arrow Storm!" Several small blue hummingbird-shaped darts flew at DarkV in an almost cloudlike formation.
        "Damnit, I've been double-teamed!" Sailor DarkV struggled to get away from these attacks, but she couldn't help but inhale the Breath Theft Fractals. As the Arrow Storm approached, she frantically waved and chopped at them with her sword. "Go -wheeze- away!"
        "We're almost to the portal." Soldierlammas helped the two girls get a better footing on the Warp Star.
        Colour shook a little and twitched from a combination of adrenaline and sugar overload. "Izz 'bout time bein'!"
        The last bits of the Halberd finally exploded below them, sending debris flying into the sky and ocean. This made the Warp Star shake from the shockwaves; the three good senshi held onto each other tightly.
        "AHHHHHH!" Just as DarkV had been lamenting to herself that she could not use her Crescent Beam attack in this form, the Star shook below her feet so hard that she fell back and over the edge of the Warp Star. She desperately stabbed the Broken Heart sword into the side of it and caught herself, just barely, holding onto the sword for dear life as the Star began to pass through the portal. At the last second, several arrows left over from SailorColour's Arrow Storm pegged DarkV right in the ass. Poink, poink, poink! "OWWWWW!" she screamed. "An important and beautiful senshi such as myself should never suffer such indignity!"
        Making sure his new friends had escaped safely, Kirby waved good-bye with his trademark smile on his round, pink face.
        The vortex emerged from the Mosaic Cube again, and out popped Sailor DarkV, Yule, Colour, and Lammas.
        "Damn you! You're getting in the way of all our plans! You were supposed to die!" Sailor DarkV hissed. She brought forth the Wand of the Broken Heart in a burst of orange energy. "Dark Ivy Chain!"
        Sailorcosmos and Sailorjupiter, puzzled, looked at the now blank computer screen. "Did we win?"
        The commotion in the back room drew their attention. They ran in on the scene of the Dark senshi fighting with SailorColour and the two Witches. Silicon had trapped Soldierlammas with her wires; she was the first one Sailorcosmos spotted.
        "Cosmic Crystal... Blood... Embrace!" The white crystals flew through a screaming Sailorsilicon, shredding her into pieces before she turned to dust. Her wires disappeared from Lammas, and the Mosaic Cube clattered to the floor in broken sections, along with the Barbie doll.
        "Hey, my doll!" cried Yule with confusion.
        Sailordarkmercury let out a scream of defeat as she collected the pieces of the shattered Mosaic Cube. "You broke it!" she yelled angrily at Cosmos. "Do you know what I went through to get it?!"
        "Ami-chan, you're not yourself. Please give up. We can help you."
        "Like hell!" Darkmercury covered her mouth. "Listen to the awful things you're making me say!"
        "Then I have no choice." Sailorcosmos raised the Winged Pearl Staff with a regretful whimper.
        "All my work, all the time I put into this cube over the years, it's all gone..." As she looked up, Darkmercury's eyes widened, and she cried, "Retreat!" She pressed several keys on her pocket computer; a portal opened up back to the Dark base.
        "Cosmic Crystal..."
        DarkV snatched up the Silicon Shield and jumped into the portal.
        Sailoryule and SailorColour tried to pursue her, but Soldierlammas grabbed their arms. "Don't get in the way; did you see what those Cosmic Crystals did to the other girl?"
        "...Blood..." Tears ran slowly down Sailorcosmos' face.
        "I shall never forgive you," Darkmercury growled, before running into the portal.
        "...Embrace!" The crystals soared toward their target.
        The portal closed, but not before a couple of the crystals got through. They all heard a scream just before the portal shut.
        Sailorcosmos let out a sigh, partially out of relief that she didn't have to hurt any of her friends... although... that scream...
        "Are you all right?" Sailorjupiter asked the others.
        "Yeah, but what about the chick on the floor?"
        Mannaka was getting to her feet. "Theta..." She checked the computer over. "Full diagnostic check."

FULL DIAGNOSTIC CHECK
Password please. : Theta :

        "Did she hurt your computer?" Yule asked. "You must have a Kirby game on it..."
        "I don't think she damaged the computer, nor any of my games..." Mannaka tried to hide it as she typed in the password. "It's all right. We're all okay. Thank you for your help."
        Suspicious, Soldierlammas asked, "Why were they interested in your computer?"
        "I don't know. Probably no reason."
        Lammas saw a familiar logo pop up on the screen as the computer began its diagnostic check, a logo that said 'Central Control.' He grabbed Mannaka's arm. "We've been getting checks from a company called Central Control for a while now; we were told they were bonuses for the work we do at Valhalla. Now, this logo appears on your computer that was just attacked by the Dark senshi. Tell me the truth!" He looked at her with intensity. "Who is Central Control?"

"Party party party! We're invited to a party, Mako-chan! What will I wear?"
"But it's a party given by Central Control. Aren't you curious about who they are?"
"All I wanna know is can they dance, and how do I get some of those checks?"
"I'm with you, Usagi-chan!"
"'Nelope jus' hopin' they gots cookies."
"Mmmm... cooooooookiiiiiiiiies..."
Sailormoon Dark Episode 29: Who is Central Control? The Life of the Party, That's Who! The moonlight carries the message of love.

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The Ninja Dispatch (http://www.bluesforbuddha.com/ninjas) was created by the people who run The Ninja Dispatch (surprised? hee). I sincerely hope they enjoy the references made to their site in this episode.

The Kirby character and the video game "Kirby Superstar" are copyrighted to HAL Laboratory and Nintendo. No rights are implied by the use of this character.

Central Control - This concept comes from two sources. In the anime, Luna spoke to someone of senshi authority over a video game/computer console in the Crown game center during the first season. The person in the video game turned out to be Artemis. I don't believe Luna ever referred to this contact with any specific name before she knew who it was. When the first season was dubbed into English, Luna referred to this contact as "Central Control." (I'm pretty sure those facts are correct, but I'd have to watch a buttload of episodes again to be sure, so I think I'm just going to trust my memory on this one for now.) I liked the term, so I'm using it and expanding on it. Also, in the Sailor V manga, Minako used a Sailor V video game to descend into the basement of the Crown game center by pressing a specific button; in this basement was her "Boss" whom she spoke to on a regular basis through a communicator pen. I don't believe we ever got to see her Boss, nor find out who it was. So I'm also building on this concept.

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